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| This guest article from Psych Central was written by associate editor, Therese J. Borchard |
This Emotional Life is hosting a webinar in two weeks about the internet’s impact on relationships and marriage, in particular. As a panelist on the webinar, I wanted to explore this issue a bit so I can offer you my two cents.
Here’s my honest opinion, after reading hundreds of comments and emails from people who have been involved in online relationships or emotional affairs as well as the responses on the discussion boards of the Emotional Affairs support group on Beliefnet’s community site:
Although the internet and social media can foster intimacy in a marriage, it seems to do more harm than good. Of all the comments I’ve read, 90 percent of the opposite-sex relationships that were damaging to the marriage happened online.
According to a story on PI Newswire:
A recent study shows as many as one in five divorce filings cite problems on Facebook or other social networking websites. In Rochester, marriage counselors are sending a warning to even happily married couples: Facebook affairs are threatening healthy couples, too.
“I have suggested to myself to write a thank you note to the inventors of Facebook and Myspace because they have been responsible for a significant percentage of my income,” says marriage counselor Dr. Dennis Boike. He’s not kidding. “I’m having people say I never would have expected me to do this. I’ve turned down opportunities galore. But to see this seductive part of it is that no one else sees it. It’s in the privacy of my computer. I’m not going out anywhere, I’m not dressing for it, I’m not smelling of another’s perfume. There are no tell-tale signs except my computer record.”
And this by Ned Hibberd of MyFoxHouston.com:
Maybe they should change the marriage vows to include, “until Facebook do us part.”
Facebook and other social networking sites can certainly connect you with long-lost friends. But a new study suggests Facebook can also help disconnect you from your better half.
The site, which boasts more than 350 million active users, is mentioned by name in almost 20% of divorce petitions, according to Divorce-Online.
Prominent Houston divorce attorney Bucky Allshouse can understand why. “It’s really kind of shocking what people put on Facebook,” says Allshouse.
Although the internet and social media can foster intimacy in a marriage, it seems to do more harm than good. Of all the comments I’ve read, 90 percent of the opposite-sex relationships that were damaging to the marriage happened online.
According to a story on PI Newswire:
A recent study shows as many as one in five divorce filings cite problems on Facebook or other social networking websites. In Rochester, marriage counselors are sending a warning to even happily married couples: Facebook affairs are threatening healthy couples, too.
“I have suggested to myself to write a thank you note to the inventors of Facebook and Myspace because they have been responsible for a significant percentage of my income,” says marriage counselor Dr. Dennis Boike. He’s not kidding. “I’m having people say I never would have expected me to do this. I’ve turned down opportunities galore. But to see this seductive part of it is that no one else sees it. It’s in the privacy of my computer. I’m not going out anywhere, I’m not dressing for it, I’m not smelling of another’s perfume. There are no tell-tale signs except my computer record.”
And this by Ned Hibberd of MyFoxHouston.com:
Maybe they should change the marriage vows to include, “until Facebook do us part.”
Facebook and other social networking sites can certainly connect you with long-lost friends. But a new study suggests Facebook can also help disconnect you from your better half.
The site, which boasts more than 350 million active users, is mentioned by name in almost 20% of divorce petitions, according to Divorce-Online.
Prominent Houston divorce attorney Bucky Allshouse can understand why. “It’s really kind of shocking what people put on Facebook,” says Allshouse.
